The Scottish Saltire

The Scottish Saltire

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Bible

On her radio show, Dr. Laura Schlesinger (a popular conservative radio
 talk show host in the USA) said that homosexuality is an abomination
 according to the Bible Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under
 any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr.
 Laura, penned by James M. Kauffman, Ed. D.
It's funny, as well as
 informative.
 _______________________

Dear Dr. Laura:

 Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
 have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
 knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
 the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
 Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... end of
 debate.

 I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
 elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
 female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A
 friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
 Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
 Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
 price for her?

 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
 her period of menstrual unseemliness - Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem   
 is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates
 a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbours.
 They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
 abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
 homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
'degrees' of abomination?

 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
 have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
 glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
 wiggle-room here?

 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
 hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by  Lev.19:27. How should they die?

 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
 makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
 different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
 garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
 blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
 necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
 together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
 death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
 with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

 I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
 considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can
 help.

 Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
 unchanging.

 Your adoring fan,

 James M. Kauffman, Ed. D.
 Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
 University of Virginia


 

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