The Scottish Saltire

The Scottish Saltire

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

New Brothers

My father had two younger sons (different mothers) who were never told who their biological father was. Dad told me about them when we got to know each other in 1995. I think my Aunt Carmen was the only other family member who knew about the two younger boys. One was raised by his mother and her husband (who, of course, will always be his dad). The other was given up for adoption. They both grew up in Santa Rosa and Dad was able to keep track of them as they grew but out of respect for their mothers he never approached either son. Since my dad named them both as beneficiaries in his estate we needed to find them and inform each of them of their pending inheritance. The only information we had were their mothers names. The estate attorney ended up hiring a private investigator to do the job. It only took him a couple of months to find them both. Paul is about 3 years younger than I am and still lives in Santa Rosa. Daryl is about 15 years younger than me and now lives in Folsom, Ca. So now I have cousins named Daryl and Paul and brothers named Daryl and Paul!

Daryl and I talked for a couple of hours on the phone the other night. What a nice guy. He has taken this all in stride. As he says, it doesn't change who he is or his relationship with his family. But he's open to the new situation, too. He and Paul met several months ago after the DNA results came back. Daryl says they look a lot alike and even have some very similar mannerisms. They are both accountants, too.

Wow, just as I finished the last paragraph my phone rang. It was the other brother, Paul! We talked for about an hour. He was just as open and friendly as Daryl was. I had called each of them a few days ago and left a message on their voice mail letting them know who I was along with my phone number. I was kind of glad that neither one was home when I called. That way they each had the option of calling me back if they wanted....or not. But they both did. So now we have at least met over the phone. I hope to be able to meet them both in person some day. In the meantime, they both asked about pictures of Dad. So, once I get settled, I'll copy what I have for them.

I told them both about dad and what a genuinely nice man he was and that, even though he didn't get to raise any of us, he loved all of us. I was just lucky enough to have been able to find that out firsthand. To this day I don't know what moved me to pick up my phone in 1995 and reach out to him but I am so glad I did. To my younger brothers he will forever be just a name and a picture. But, lucky me, he was My Dad.


Michael said...

I have two new uncles! Well, not new uncles, but two more. Awesome! What is that now for Nikki, Shauna, and I? Eight or nine uncles?

Do Daryl and Paul know about us three? If you decide to meet them, let us know so we can probably meet them too!

I'm glad you found them, and have been able to talk with them. Two more feathers in the hat!

Anonymous said...

Connie, How strange. I can't imagine not knowing I had brothers. What a shock to them and you. My Dad is my best friend. My fondest memories are of my childhood and my dad reading me stories and tucking me into bed.tickling me till I cried. He hated all my boyfriends and he gave me away to one. Now that's a Dad!! After reading your post I truly feel I am blessed by God. I feel so sorry for those that never had that. He sure missed out. To have small children you only knew of and never hugged.It just happens too often these days. I hope they had good Step fathers. I hope you become close to them. What a treat. I never had an older Brother. MOM???

Connie said...

Both of my younger brothers grew up with dads who loved them and whom they love in return. The news of their biological father has not changed those relationships. I'm always happy to hear of wonderful childhood memories, such as yours. I'm sure my brothers have the same kind of memories of their own dads.

Nikki said...

Dear anonymous,

Me too! I love to hear Good Dad stories. Mine is fabulous, too. I wish you many more years of happiness with your Dad!

Amy said...

That's so touching... wow. You do have an amazing way of gaining new family. I guess I sort of have too, but not as much as you. It's wonderful to see.